Supernatural: All Hell breaks Loose Pt2
Episode thoughts for Supernatural Season Finale, ‘All Hell Breaks Loose Pt2’
“You know when you were little, you couldn’t have been more than five… you’d just started talking, asking questions…
How come we didn’t have a mom?
Why’d we always have to move around?
Where’d Dad go when he’d take off for days at a time?
So it was Dean who raised Sam, who Sam turned to when he needed answers. It was Dean, it was Dean who told Sam, taught Sam, raised Sam in more than a physical sense.
It was Dean who moulded Sam into the man we see today. No wonder he and Dean have such different opinions of self-worth. Why Sam believes in himself, has confidence in himself.
Has such a beautiful heart.
It was Dean. Sam has Dean’s heart because he had Dean’s love and understanding.
And he has none of Dean’s self-doubt or self-loathing because he had Dean’s love and understanding.
He had Dean.
Man, I begged you, quit asking Sammy. Man you don’t wanna know?
I just wanted you to be a kid, just for a little while longer…
And Dean did try to foster Sam’s innocene, keep him untainted and free of the burden of knowledge that crippled Dean.
“I always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn’t even have to tell me.
It was just always my responsibilty, you know?”
Yes, Dean. We know. Oh, God, do we know!?!
“It’s like I had one job. One job and I screwed up. I blew it and for that I am sorry.”
Dean, you’re always sorry, sorry for everyone and everything but yourself.
“I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love.”
And suddenly, ‘What is and What Should Never Be’, makes a whole bunch of sense, not that it didn’t before but seeing it, how Dean sees himself and his failures…
“I let Dad down and now I’m just supposed to let you down too?”
How can I?
How am I supposed to live with that?
What am I supposed to do?
Sammy… God… What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
Dean knew, before he even began speaking with Sammy, probably even as he lifted Sammy’s body from the muddy ground and placed him carefully on the torn, dirt streaked mattress.
He knew what he was going to do.
And that’s why the speech.
Grief, yes, undoubtebly but more than that.
He was taking it all, the failure, the guilt. He was taking everything upon himself. Bearing the burden like a weight across his shoulders. And what’s a deal with a Devil, what’s the cost of selling your soul against the weight of living in Hell anyway.
A life without Sam.
A life in which he failed to protect Sam.
That’s Dean’s own private Hell.
At the hour of his utmost desolation and abandonment, he willingly chose to sacrifice himself, to be wounded for his trangressions and bruised for his iniquities.
His constant failure to protect.
“What am I supposed to do?”
Dude, you saw that right, what Dean was saying? Don’t make me go all religious on your ass.
But dude. One year?
One lousy fucking year?
Oh. God. His face when he saw Sam, when Dean walked into the room and his Sammy was standing there.
Awakened with a kiss.
And the hug, the way he threw himself at Sam...
Okay, Dean. I get it. It’s Sam.
And suddenly Dean’s starving but Dean’s always starving. Someone really ought to tell Dean that’s it’s just food.
It’s not love.
Nor is trading a lie for a lie.
But dude, Sammy finally ate something. Sam Winchester actually eats.
“Can’t you just take care of yourself for a little bit, huh? Just for a little bit.”
Oh, Dean. Can’t you take your own advice once in a while, huh? Just once in a while?
Oh, Bobby. I love you so much. As much as you love our boys.
“That’s my point, Dad brought me back Bobby. I’m not even supposed to be here. At least this way something good can come out of it. My life can mean something…”
Bobby, dude, tell him!
“What and it didn’t before?
Have you got that low an opinion of yourself?
Are you that screwed in the head?”
Thank you! Bobby, about time someone got all fatherly on Dean Winchester's ass for Dean’s Winchester’s sake rather than ‘saving people hunting things’.
“I couldn’t let him die Bobby… I couldn’t… he’s my brother…”
And there it is, Dean’s truth. Dean’s only truth. Sam Winchester.
“How is your brother gonna feel when he knows you’re going to Hell?
How did you feel?
When you knew your dad went for you?”
Oh, Bobby, I heart you, I really do but don’t you get it?
Dean Winchester has been in Hell for a very long time, and his soul?
He willingly traded that the instant Sam fell into his arms. The instant Sam was placed into Dean’s arms. And it wasn’t on some muddy patch of ground, it wasn’t even recent.
It was avery long time ago.
November 23rd 1983
The night Dean Winchester made a choice, to always sacrifice anything and everything for his little brother.
“You can’t tell him… please don’t tell him…”
See Bobby, it’s always about protecting Sam, even from the truth.
Because it doesn’t matter Bobby, it was never about John’s sacrifice, not wholly. It was that John’s sacrifice was for Dean.
And Dean, well he’s just not worth that level of sacrifice.
Not Dean Winchester because he’s a failure.
And his family?
Well they’d be better off without him…
It’s not that John made a deal, paid the ultimate sacrifice.
It’s that he made the ultimate sacrifice for Dean.
Making the ultimate sacrifice for someone like Sam?
He’s worth paying the price for.
But not Dean. Not in Dean's mind.
Holy Fuck. Samuel Colt was one smart motherfucker.
And you know what?
I think the demon struck lucky with Jake because Samuel Winchester would never have bought into those threats.
He would have found a way.
I’m not buying Sam came back wrong, I don’t think he did. That’s not to say Sam isn’t going to wonder. Isn’t still going to have that fear…
Of what he could become.
But wrong. I don’t think so.
I think as much as Dean knew what he was going to do, had already decided to make a deal before sitting down with Sam, before asking his forgiveness…
Sam knew what Dean had done.
And as much as Dean scares himself with the things he’s willing to do to protect Sam, the people he’s willing to kill.
Like Dean, Sam didn’t blink. He didn’t even flinch…
I think we just got our first glimpse of the things Sam is willing to do to protect Dean.
The people he’s willing to kill.
So it all comes down to deals with the devil.
Sammy had to die and Dean had to live.
Demons can’t ressurect people unless a deal’s been made.
Dean wouldn’t trade for John Winchester’s life.
But John traded for Dean, wouldn’t that count?
All along I’ve been asking myself why?
Why try so hard to convince Dean that he can’t save Sam. That he’ll fail, as he always fails?
That his family don’t need him, would be better off without him?
And Dean, he really believes that. We saw just how much in ‘What is and What Should Never Be’. Dean’s belief that all he did was let his family down.
All he ever did was let his family down.
That without him they’d be happier.
Sam would get to live a full and happy life instead of dying, cradled in his brother’s arms as his life’s blood seeped into the dirt at their feet.
And now Dean’s got to make it right. He’s got to make his life mean something. To do what he does best, sacrifice everything for his family.
“I can fix things with Sam. I can make it up to him. To everyone.
All the pushing, the tests, trying to convince Dean that he couldn’t save Sam. The way the demon, in whichever form indulged Dean’s self-loathing, his self-destructive need to sacrifice himself for his family. Reinforced Dean’s already low opinion of himself.
It was all for this one moment?
Prove to Dean that he couldn’t save him.
Prove to Dean that he is a failure after all.
Sam was the bait.
Dean was the target.
And the deal was made.
The gates were opened.
And all hell broke loose.
So did John Winchester because if anyone is stubborn enough to climb his way out of Hell. You better believe his name is Winchester.
In this case, John.
John and Dean and Sam.
“We’re stronger as a family Dad. We just are and you know it.”
And they kicked Demon ass!
“You two are all I've got but I guess we are stronger as a family.
So, we go after this damn thing.
And they so did!
And oh. My. God. Dean!
You did it.
You really did it. You can never change the events of that night. You can't take back what's past but you can rest knowing that no other family is going to be torn apart, like yours was.
Way to go Dean!
“That was for our mom. You son of a bitch!”
Dean would say he doesn’t know where you are now because that’s Dean and he’s not that big on faith. But John, wherever you are?
I hope you’re happy.
I hope that for, it’s finally over.
And I hope you got what you wanted.
Mary back, because, dude?
You did it.
You and your boys.
Together, you did it.
And Dean, you see how proud he was of you?
Did you see that, your daddy’s pride in his boys, in you?
And it wasn’t because of a deal, Dean.
It was because you are a son to be proud of, even Bobby thinks so.
You did good Dean, you did real good.
And Sammy, see the way he looked at you?
See the love?
Yeah, I know you didn’t get to touch but I think your big brother needed that reassurance just a little bit more than you did, right?
Because you know, no matter what. Your daddy loves you, and maybe now, Dean does too.
“Did I die? Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?
How long’d you get?”
You tell him Sam.
“One year. I got one year.”
“How could you do that?”
“Don’t you get mad at me. Don’t you do that. I had to look out for you, that’s my job.”
“And what do you think my job is?”
OMg! Sammy, you’re about to make me even more proud of you aren’t you?
Just wait Dean. Just you wait and see…
“You save my life. Over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you?”
And there it is, finally!
“You’re my big brother, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
We know that Sam. We’ve always known that.
“It doesn’t matter what it takes, I’m gonna get you out of this. I guess I gotta save your ass for once.”
Way to go Sammy!
Do you finally get it now?
Your daddy died for you.
Sam is willing and more than ready to die for you.
Bobby gets it, he knows.
Do you Dean?
Do you get it?
You're more than 'saving people'
You're more than 'hunting things'
So much more than 'the family business'
You’re more than a soldier.
More than John's second in command.
More than a weapon in a war you never chose.
More than Sam’s protector.
Even more than his big brother.
You’re his entire world, dude.
Just like he’s yours.
Do you see that now?
Do you Dean?
Do you see your worth?
And how appropriate was that ending. And how scary seeing as how it could have totally worked for a series finale too!
But Dean's grin as he threw the gun into the trunk of the Impala, the way he looked over and smiled at Sam.
Yeah, bitch. I get to throw the gun in the trunk, you get to take care of me.
Hee! Dean totally got to be Sammy...
We've got work to do...
Where to start?
Just, here have my soul. I won’t even make you bargain for it.
Not even a year.
Take it dude, it’s yours.
Now and probably for all time.
Love doesn’t begin to cover it.
Ps, I am so very proud of you.
PPs, watch out for that little brother of yours. I think he’s about to go all McToppie on your ass.
Here have my heart.
What’s left of it after your big Brother’s done breaking it.
It’s not as beautiful as yours…
But here, have it anyway.
Nothing but love, dude. Nothing but love.
Rest easy fella your boys have got it covered.
And be happy, wherever you are?
So much love,
Nothing but love, dude.
Nothing but love.
Ps, and thank you! It’s about time someone told Dean Winchester a few home truths.
I dunno, you seemed a little strange.
Maybe it was just me.
Ps, sorry about that.
You know, I’m going to miss you.
You really did!
Dear Eric Kripke,
If your boys hadn’t already stolen my heart and soul…
If I had anything left to give that isn’t wholly there’s…
I’d willingly give it up.
They own me, dude and I guess I’ve got you to thank for that.
A million times over, thank you!
Massive amounts of love,
Dude you is shinier than a shiny thing with a reason to be SHINY.
See you next season,
Omg! Dean, you did it, dude! You big damn gorgeous hunk of a hero, you!
*draws big pink hearts around your name*
Yeah. I'm satisfied. In fact I don't think I could be anymore satisfied then if I was snorting Prozac off the perfectly rounded curve of Dean Winchester's ass.
So who else figures we should hand Jensen Ackles the Emmy he so deserves for this?
Is it September yet?
No, best be finding a way to keep the Winchesters busy then.